LOVE by: Michael Crew

Dear everyone who reads this,

                My name is Michael Crew, and today I’m going to touch on a subject many people have a giant misunderstanding of.

LOVE

This word can be used in two ways; as a noun that means an intense feeling of affection or the verb usage which means feel a deep romantic or sexual attatchement to something or someone. I hope some people do not have sexual attachments to objects, but hey, live your life. ZING!!

Now on to my take on love… I was kind of a troubled child, and teen. I moved around a lot going from school to school, changing friends and homes. I grew up in a divorced household, with a younger sister. I love everyone in my family dearly, however, I went through a phase where I thought nobody loved me back. Man, was I dumb to think that. Your family is your rock, whether there be arguments or not. Each and every member of your family loves you. Now, they might disagree with what you are doing, who you are seeing, your habits, taste in music, heck, anything can be disagreed upon. With that comes acceptance. A lot of people disagreed with how I dressed, the music I listened to, and the things I did. From grade school, and honestly the media, I learned a lot of swear words. I got in trouble for using them at school, outside of school, everywhere. I’d get grounded and say “THIS ISN’T FAIR! I HATE YOU!” Did I mean it? No. I was just upset. Then it got to where I was hitting puberty, and finding my own sense of style and things I enjoyed. The heavy metal culture spoke to me in ways I can’t describe. Wait, here’s one way. I LOVED AND STILL LOVE IT! Now it’s typically a dark and evil genre and culture, so people assumed that I was some “emo kid” or “freakshow” at points. The clothes are different, I still wear most the same stuff, to be honest. Then after hearing what I thought was people just making fun of me or “hating on me” I found music as an outlet. I started with the punk/heavy metal genres. Still am currently involved in some projects as well. Then my parents would find songs, or poems or verses I would write and think I’m some suicidal depressed kid going through puberty. BOOM! Then high school hits, and it is like the cultural smelting pot of cliques, races, sexes, and most of all opinions. Due to being good at sports, and being on the teams, I had a decent amount of friends, some of them are still very dear to me to this day.  I also had my fair share of “High school sweethearts”. Then high school turned into a gateway drug kind of, I found out what cigarettes, marijuana, alcohol, and even what girls were all about. I started partying, having sex, smoking, all these horrid things. Got the label as a player, which really took a toll on my usage of the word “love” and it’s meaning in my mind and heart.  Then I got in trouble for cigarettes, and my parents, to say the least, were not pleased in the least. So I got grounded. Here I am thinking “Nobody loves me” “Why can’t I just be me” so I’d walk around with a bad attitude. The first guy who said something wrong I was looking to fight. Which, by the way, is absolutely stupid… Stick up for yourself, but don’t cause harm because you’ve had a bad day. So then that trouble came along. Once again, grounded. Then I got in trouble with the law for alcohol two times my senior year of high school. My college football dreams were gone. I felt like the biggest failure to my friends and family. I worked hard jobs and saved my money out of high school, joined a metal band that rose to successful heights, and had more friends than ever. I was still feeling as though I was missing that one thing. Love. I would sit some nights crying my eyes out, thinking that nobody would ever love me. No girl, no family members, nobody. Then I made my change.

I started to see how negative everyone was towards each other. Obviously opinions are going to vary, but don’t go putting someone down because you don’t like their hair or iTunes library. This was something that really troubled me. So I started thinking about what I could do, to make sure everyone around me felt loved. Granted, I have had my fair share of ups and downs, financially, socially, with my family, and relationships. I have probably done and said some things I haven’t meant. Don’t just “YOLO” through life with those regrets on your shoulders, because as they came crashing down on me, they will for you as well. Mine smacked me in the face one day. Then I was like “Why did I say or do that?” was it emotions? Was it my bad attitude? Who knows… I wanted to spread love, but still had a void there. Then I realized “DUH, YOU DUMMY!” No matter how negative you feel, your family will always love you, this I promise. So I wanted to make it clear, that I gave my love away like candy at a parade to the family members surrounding me. Boom, knocked one section of the love out of the park. Now the whole “I need a girlfriend, or boyfriend” No you don’t. I feel as though in order to channel your love to someone else, you need to love yourself. Drop the crappy negative attitude, and think about all the positive things surrounding your life. Your full stomach, your nice warm bed, your favorite shoes, and most of all your loving family. I went through a long soul searching phase where I really found who I was, and although some people disagree, or have different opinions. I don’t spread negativity, it is a waste of my energy. I want to spread love. TO EVERYONE. Not in a sexual manner, but in a spiritual manner. We need to understand that we are loved for who we are, by someone, somewhere. If you think you won’t meet the girl of your dreams. Just settle down, Rome wasn’t built in a day, things take time. You need to evaluate what you think might be ideal for you to find in a romantic partner. You can grab at strings, look up and down, ask everyone out on a date. There are many ways to find a romantic partner. However to find a love, is something else, as building Rome did, this takes time. You might be head over heels in the first week, but that other person might be far more sheltered and insecure than you ever could imagine. It’s not that they don’t ‘like’ or ‘love’ you. It’s just that they are unsure of what is happening in their hearts and well as you are weary about yours being broken. Take your time, and you will find that person who is your sunshine and the love of your life someday. They are out there, think about all the people in the world. THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU! If not, I love you, not only because you deserve it, but why not spread anything but love and positivity throughout the world. It’s became quite the negative place. One by one, day by day, we can restore it into a romance filled, hugs and kisses kind of place. I’m kind of rambling on about this now. All in all, what I’m trying to say is; Someone out there loves you, whether you think so or not. I know your family does. Don’t you? I came to peace with feeling alone, because I realized everyone around me has a love. I found mine, it’s my family first, then myself. Sounds conceited, I know. But love yourself, and love the person next to you, tell them to do the same. Spread it like wild fire, and nobody will stop your heart from growing. If the Grinch can do it, why can’t we. After all we aren’t some green tree stealing monsters, we’re human. Love each other, for love’s sake. So do me a favor if you sat through this, call your family, your girlfriend, your best bud, and tell them that you love them to the moon and back. Once you find it, love is the most powerful force of all. Spread it.